Gaining control of your orgasm should begin with learning the warning signs & levels of excitement. Every man has a “point of no return” during sex at which time nothing in the world is going to stop him from having an orgasm and ejaculating. What you must attempt to do is find this point & work your way back. Once you have established that point you must pay attention to the feelings just prior to it. This will take some time & many sessions to find so don’t get discouraged.
Once you have begun to discover the different levels of excitement you can attempt to use them. Try to find that moment & the feelings just before that point of no return. Focus on that & make sure it happens every time you are about to ejaculate. When you think you’ve got that feeling down to a science try tightening the up your muscles just as you would when you stop urinating. Just think of having someone walk in to the bathroom on you…… that’ll do the trick. Tighten these muscles just as you are hitting that no return point. This of course will take time & practice & learning to control the muscle which is used here. Practice, practice, practice!
As the muscle gets stronger you will be able to hold back the orgasm, or at least the ejaculation. I learned this method from a book that I highly recommend. It is “How to make love to a woman all night” by Barbara Kigali, Ph.D. This book is available through almost all of the web based books stores for $7 – $10 & should be found in most good local bookstores. Although I have had only limited success with her method, it has given me a little more control over my orgasms & let’s face it, every little bit helps. Ms. Keesling also claims that a man is capable of having multiple orgasms without ejaculating & intensifying the male orgasm. I haven’t been able to achieve these things but I have to admit I haven’t been practicing like I should (this site sucks up a lot of time…ya know?)
Another method I have had luck with is the stopping theory. When using this with your partner it is always a good idea to let them know you are doing this to allow you to last longer. I will admit this one is a bit of a juggling act but it does work for me. Once again it all revolves around knowing the feelings leading up to the point of no return. This can also be practiced through masturbation.
When I am at that point I just stop & wait a few seconds until the feeling has passed. I then begin again & when the feeling comes back again I pause again. Usually after 3 or 4 stops something happens & the feelings subside completely almost as if I had desensitized myself. When this happens I usually can then go for a good while before orgasm & have on a few occasions been able to have intercourse for almost an hour before finally reaching an orgasm. One trick to this, when using it during intercourse, is to make sure everything stops for those few seconds. On many occasions my wife has moved once to often & it was all over. As I mentioned before let your partner know what you are doing before you start this. I don’t believe there is a woman alive that would fault you for trying this & most would be more than happy to help!
The whole idea here is to use your normal masturbation sessions as a tool to make yourself last longer during intercourse. Most men tend to only think about having an orgasm when they masturbate, usually the quicker the better. Because of this type thinking it can be difficult for some men to “reverse course” and start allowing themselves to slow the orgasm process down.
One other thing I should point out when trying this is to look at how you masturbate. Men who masturbate with their hand may find intercourse too sensual to apply the techniques. Let’s face it, there’s no way to make your hand feel like a woman’s vagina. For this reason you may want to buy one of the new masturbators that are on the market today. Many of these come fairly close to the feeling of a vagina. I particularly enjoy the Senso Lips toy. it is easy to use and has an amazing lifelike feel to it.
Using one of these to masturbate may help further control your orgasm when you are with a partner. If you aren’t ready to buy a masturbation toy I would suggest using some form of hand lotion or other lubricant to masturbate with. The closer you can get your masturbation to the feeling of intercourse the better your chances of using your control techniques with your partner.
